A Recognition of Faith

He untied the blindfold she wore to block out the daylight to dream
As it fell to the floor she read his letter
She folded the paper and smiled 
She always knew, but appreciated the gesture 

He had rarely shared anything significant about himself, and yet he became a confidant 
She has waited a long time for his words to break the silence, but he makes a choice never to speak
And so, it was always his voice absent from the conversation… he has his reasons, she supposes
She wanted his sound to animate her, just as his image has… but fantasies don’t need sound 

What had colored her day in, day out world was just a sweet sin 
She wondered if the dream would continue, or if truth would wake her and rob her 
She was surprised by her ambivalence to his honesty, but now wondered, 
Did her muse want her to acknowledge him as he really is? 

He was the one that chose to elevate the game 
He asked her to come to him 
She delighted in knowing that something impossible appeared suddenly possible 
He knew she was the one that would give him total freedom, expression… recognition 

So, why did he choose now to unveil? 
Did he think she would not come if she knew more of him? 
Did he want assurance of balance between reality and reverie? 
The only real question: Is he ready to yield to a chance to feed his own intensity, and hers? 

To taste something so sweet 
To experience what it’s like to lose yourself in another 
To feel no limits, no border, no politics 
There is only one thing required to truly indulge 

…Faith



Do you ever think about the way the world has shifted since your youth? I think of the things I miss, like the freedom children had because there was safety found in communities… Well, relative safety. I think about the shortage of cowboys, real men, the kind of men that held a door open for a girl. People used to respect elders and use words like “please,” and “thank you,” because that’s how we were raised, and words like that made things… nicer.

The world has changed. It moves fast. Too fast.

Sub Rosa…

“Come to me,” she said
In an instant he emerged out of thin air
He didn’t know today she was broken, he didn’t seem to care
He came because she asked
Suddenly she was lost in him

A woman challenged by fatiguing years
His steady appearance convinces her that her own youth is yet present
Selfishly living in the moment again, another addictive experience
Her palpable imperfections melt away, and self-inflicted torment turns into strength
He grins, knowing this side of her

“Hello,” has never been crafted into a conversation of careful significance
A fact that once bothered her deeply, quickly washed away by truth
She questioned initial intentions, but realized she was wasting precious energy
Visits over time stepped her unscathed through fields of affliction

She settled for the proven comfort of a confidant
Delicious idleness prevailed, a gift of true meaning

There is peace in knowing he’s there, quiet in the background
Predisposed to remain in readiness, awaiting another silent gesture of affection for a friend
An escape, and an understanding
She is grand simply knowing that it is his kind eyes that have the power to carry her doubts away

Un milione di grazie per la tua amicizia…

Lost…

Knowing I’ve lived a life so full, makes me feel selfish when the blue comes over me. What brought me to this place of doubt?

Nobody…

Helplessness took hold
There was nothing to do
Nobody to call to ease her worry
Her care would go unnoticed

She stood in the rain
Just stood there
Inhaling the damp air
She accepted the wait as her only option

But an exercise of patience did not prepare her for the truth
In an instant, words swallowed her relief whole

Even with the slowing of his heartbeat
He reached out to another kind of spirit for comfort
The gesture of honesty provided clarity
She was not his true pleasure

Again on the ledge
Sacrificing sleep to question worth
A familiar habit
Might she never be the temptation that makes him want to be a better man?       

Kin

It has been awhile, but last night I dreamt of you
I held you in my arms
I smelled your head, and cried from happiness
You came back for me to know you, if only in my dream
And now I know that you really are always with me, and I am always with you

And So It Shall Be…

In my mission to counter any form of hebetude, I am thinking Paris… yes, Paris is always a good idea.

Planning on dancing under the Eiffel Tower, walking through the gardens of Versailles, and indulging in some of the greatest works of art.

It is decided. Let the quest for a cheap airline ticket begin!

Observations

Ignoring the woman until it’s right for you, that never worked for her, did it?
Breaking glass and kicking in doors is not the right way to get her attention
Assuming you know her is where you started to go wrong
She wants to take care of you, and it isn’t right if you don’t take care of her

She’s full of life, and don’t you dare try to drain her of that
She’s smarter than you, accept it
She’s doesn’t need anything from you, so think about why she even let you in her life
Even when she’s bad she’s better than any other woman you ever met – and, deep down you know it

If you think you’re worth it, try to give her what matters most to her.
Don’t let yourself regret not appreciating her sooner.

Ready

I want to dance in Paris
I want to drive the Amalfi coastline
I want to celebrate…

Ode to My Ghost

I didn’t anticipate the nervousness
Anxiety coarsed through my veins
The heat of my blood as he wrapped me in the warmth of his soul
I knew it was my ghost who was standing beside me… he kept true to his promise to find me

Paralyzed by fear and uncertainty
I was unsteady, unsure of how to be strong
But, my ghost stood there
He waited for me to acknowledge him

I instantly knew
He appeared in my window because he needed me too
He was as lost as I was
He anchored to me, as much as I did to him

Two drifting souls
Unrecognized by the world
Lonely souls
In search of someone who would take care

I lived for so long with a broken spirit
My ghost reminded me that there was a decent woman under the weight of my selfish shame
My ghost followed me room to room, street to street, city to city
Never leaving my side

I faced him
I faced the truth
I faced myself
All while he watched over me

His presence made me feel safe
And I sang
Under his watch I found tranquility
Able, I witnessed the beauty of new land

Night after night he embraced my soul with his perspective
Night after night his voice soothed my loneliness
Night after night he tended to my bruises and healed my scars
Night after night he came back… for me

My ghost stayed true to all the whispers he had filled my ears with for so long before.
Then as our time drew near, he leaned in and asked me to stay
With those words I closed my eyes and fell hard
At that moment, the window he stood in before crashed, and nothing came between us

He gave me a gift…
My angel made me believe that I mattered
I was ready to breath again
I felt my heart whole, not broken
I could give myself again
I felt ready

My ghost is a friend
I will be his
I will never leave him behind
Not for a single day in this life of mine

Dublin

I am listening to the city, learning new chords
I take in the cold air, I can hear my heart as I walk down its streets
So many feelings, visions, tastes, sounds, smells
They are all reasons why I feel my walls tumbling, crumbling
Tonight, I will celebrate so many people that have painted colors in my life
Some vibrant in tone, others coated me with texture
But tonight, here in Dublin… the color is not blue
Tonight, I walk towards a brighter place

Reminded

We all walk this world alone… yearning for energy
Always searching for something… that makes you permanent
Looking or holding onto someone special… to account your life to
Always starving for verve… to feed your soul

I am reminded tonight that blue is just a part of the color spectrum of the life cycle…

Can Hardly Wait

The days are dragging as I get closer to my destination
I can’t sleep
Nervous… yeah, nervous
But I can’t stop smiling

I’ve kicked into high gear again (love that feeling)
I am focused on the date
I’m waiting for big moves, things to happen
I’m poised, predisposed for the unexpected

This will be my latest and possibly my greatest escapade
I plan to remember this one for all my days
I will abandon my tired everyday perspective, hopefully for good
I will take a new stance in a new city, a different country

This is exactly what I need
I know it
I embrace it
I am counting the minutes

Under the Surface of a Confident Woman

Never at my will, always at his
I throw words out to the endless universe
When its hard to be alone
When its dark and I need laughter

Sometimes the universe speaks back
But when I need company most
I always find myself sitting alone, in silence
Wondering why, and how to fix it

I’m crushing…
Happy, Sad, Loving, Lonely
Is there a super hero for me?
Can he chase my blue away?

I need to reel it back, because the reality is dreams are just that
There are no super heroes looking for me
There is only me, myself, and I
And the one I need to stay put together for

But, he’s an image I never want to lose
A soothing kind voice I want to hear
When I close my eyes softly he says to me, “I love u”
I don’t know if its real, but I want to trust it

I can hear him as if he was standing behind me
Whispering the words with care over my shoulder, in my ear
Wrapping me in warmth
Just the way I want, because I feel stronger when I don’t feel alone

And then I remember… “God loves a try’er” he whispered
So I get up, I dust off of the blue
I smile
and I live another day

Thanks

I accept now that which I did not think I ever could
I’ve come to terms with the choices I’ve made
It’s what was meant to be
It is what was written for me
I have his image forever flowing in my veins
His smile still appears at an instant
I have memories to always cherish
I think that was what was intended for me
Its a gift from GOD, and I give my thanks

One Reason to Go

So many reasons to stay

Only one reason to go
I find there to be no rationale in my thinking
I’m driven by what fills my spirit
All this travel has awakened my senses, and I am addicted
Witnessing the world has given me hope
I have finally felt peace wash over me, through me
The fear of letting go has finally diminished because of the act itself
Forever grateful for my blessings
I am, I am, I am
These tears are not of sadness
They joyfully flow to remind me, I am feeling again…

I Know Better

If dishonesty is the norm and not the exception

Then I must acknowledge that I am not above it
Insecurity at this stage is unforgivable, but understandable
But, trust should not be difficult

Bruised, battered, my spirit is struggling to face the wind
I hear my ghost, but his voice is distant and tired
I give him my wholehearted belief,
Not because he asked for it, but because I felt happy
But elements are thrown at me, testing my strength of character

I have to move forward
I have to try
How else will I breathe in the full extent of the life I have been given
Its all about now, its all about existing here

Its all about forgiveness…. isn’t it?