Mosaic

While I quietly move around the million pieces of the mosaic that represents my life, looking for a new picture, I am not surprised at how many pieces have always belonged to him. I’ve always seen him in the mirror.

I’ve lived a lifetime loving a memory, time to let go
I have relinquished my tight grip, and I breathe hard, deep
Perhaps now he’ll carry that goodness in his heart
Maybe he’ll throw it away

Either way, I am liberated
My sentence is over
My shame is no longer hidden
The tears that fall are lighter on my aging face

This weight was my honesty, my ground truth
This natural, gentle, passionate care was always the only thing I could ever offer such a strong force
I never felt worthy, though I was indeed worthy of more
The price of insecurity was a young woman’s dream, a feeling of “home”
The cost…silence, peace, years