I Crossed an Ocean…

I look, but cannot find you
Not at the bottom of a glass
Or the base of a bottle
Not over the horizon
Nor with new lenses
I can’t fly to you
I can’t walk, or talk to you
I can’t hold you
You are gone

But, I see your smile
In the place
I promised you’d be
For all of my life

How you are, and always will be,
   Everything…

Today I give thanks…
HE knows my heart
HE knows my soul
Though my presence or words may be meaningless to some…
Forgetful
Worthless
HE knows they are all of me
My gold
My everything

The question should never be…
Why did she love?
She may walk alone
But she walks tall
Accepting truth
In a way, he never would

-C F

What is my word?
What do I know of myself?
Past the happiness of blessings
Past the fractures in my soul
What makes me go on?
Is it HIM?
He filled my heart
And, it was my heartbeat
That led me to the other side of the world
Where I sat alone
With empty hands
And, I felt my worth
And, I could walk no more in the world I created
It was there, that I fell to my knees
And, I prayed at HIS alter
In a foreign country that feels like home

“Attraversato” is my word
Attraversato l’oceano a trovarmi

In the end, the only thing she had to hold, was the realization that he was beautiful in her eyes and heart.

C/F

Black and white
Day and night
Heard and said
Happy and dread
Empty and full
Kind and cruel

funny how life unfolds...

A new, poetic version of a classic. A must share.

Never forget that I crossed an ocean, because I wanted to hold your hand in mine.

Reggaeton thumping
Heart racing
Lights flashing
Blue eyes dancing
World stopping
A life together, beginning

You flow, in and out of my life
Like waves that crash with no compassion 
My flesh wanting the force of you
My heart forever lost in the depths of you 

You are violent 
Against a loving shore
You are gentle
When you need more

Your eyes are my blue ocean
Take the water from mine

The lyrics of this song by A Great Big World 
with Christina Aguilera are poetry set to music. 
I can listen to this song over and over, 
and imagine the story in my mind...

Say something, I'm giving up on you  
  (I want you)
I'll be the one, if you want me too  
  (put that in your heart)
Anywhere, I would've followed you  
  (I would have)
Say something, I'm giving up on you  
  (please...)

And I am feeling so small  
  (yes, so very small...)
It was over my head  
  (I didn't know)
I know nothing at all  
  (no, I knew nothing at all)

And I will stumble and fall  
  (every day without you)
I'm still learning to love  
  (because this is what love is)
Just starting to crawl  
  (I want to crawl to you)
 
Say something, I'm giving up on you  
  (I want you)
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you  
  (I tried)
Anywhere, I would've followed you  
  (I think you know this to be true)
Say something, I'm giving up on you  
  (please...)

And I will swallow my pride  
  (for you)
You're the one that I love  
  (you saw my eyes)
And I'm saying goodbye  
  (you are with me, in every step I take...) 

I wonder if you knew
Why I smiled when I looked at you
It's because my heart was telling me
Everything I ever wanted was in front of me
For what it was worth
In that moment in time
I was yours, and you were mine...

ICAOFY

He never saw me
All that I am
And, I believe
I will never see his eyes again
So, No
I won't fear the night
And, I won't fall apart
I will stay strong
Because I know my own heart

I know the colors of you will fade away. But, this I can assure you. I will travel my path, with you in my heart, for the rest of my days. 

C/F

I am everything beautiful
I am the spring, to your autumn
I am all the things you don’t want 
I am all the things you can’t see
With your eyes that once danced for me

C/F

Today I left a house
A place that felt like home
With a pocket filled with diamonds
Tokens from Rome

I left to forget your eyes that never saw me
Your hands that never touched me
To stop asking for the voice you never gave me
To stop wanting your heart that never held me

The land was foreign
The walls were never meant for me
The dishes, the pillows
The art
All meaningless materials
I gave them away to set me free

So I turned the key
And handed it to a stranger
whispering as I kissed his cheek
Be happy

And with the stroke of a pen
I am a nomad, again

I don’t know why he started playing, but I like to think he did it for us. To fill our home with music, something I had always dreamed of. The fact that he taught himself, was impressive in its own right. But, the fact that he impresses me with the sweetest melodies, well that’s a miracle for me.
I want to believe he plays to show me he loves me, but then again I want to believe many things that are not necessarily true to anyone but me. The beautiful chords he strums reminds me that my heart is still alive, though beaten and battered. The crafted notes remind me of the life we built for each other, and that the years will keep us together forever. I belong to him. He is the one that chose me, and chooses me everyday. The only one who ever did that for me. He is the one that has always stood by my side, and let me be whoever and whatever I needed to be in life. The songs tell our story, and for that I am grateful that he is my partner in this journey.
When he plays, he reminds me why I married him. I had forgotten how beautiful his eyes are, when he is happy. I am glad the songs of that wooden instrument -that melodic tool- made me look at him with fresh eyes. Maybe he doesn’t know it, but his guitar has brought me back home, and it is his music that heals my heart. He gives me something beautiful, everyday.

ICAO…

I will never say those words again
Not even to the night sky
I will tell myself they are no longer true
Until I believe it too

I will live to forget those words
Though their weight is all my gold
Until I no longer remember your name
Until I can’t remember why
I will forget that you are the reason for my every step forward
So long as there is air in my lungs… I will live every day
Until I no longer remember you

This is my wish for you

ICAO…🕊

Your smile a cruel lie
Your hate real
Your heart empty
So you broke something beautiful
With your callous hands
Your prayer answered
No more
No more anything
No more you
No more sadness