Category: Uncategorized

I’ve crossed an ocean to find you
I’ve travelled to the other side of the world to run from the idea of you
Only to find you with me
Beside me, within me

With the sting of silence
I heard the shouts within
My feelings, a compass
To navigate the years that passed
Until I heard your voice again
When words poured out from my open veins
My mouth dry from truth
My cheek red from the slap
You are gone again
Holding something I gave to you

I cared, I loved
When you were there
When you weren’t

I wanted a conversation
I asked for a kindness
I asked until I raged

Because, it’s me
It’s you
And, this is what love is

He has held my hands in his
For twenty-six years
Through it all
He has never let go

You don’t want to know
What it’s like for me
To have it all
And have nothing
To know
This IS what love is

The silence… it doesn’t make it go away

Nothing makes it go away

I hear the ocean outside my window
Taunting me as I try to sleep
Calling me to the sandy edge

I know the sea too well
The salt that heals my body
Is the salt that burns my lips

I know my heart lies in its shoals
You can’t hear it beat over the sound of the waves
But it’s there, always there

With every swell that crashes on the shore
I want to be baptized
I want to be me

How cruel love is
When joy is not found
When the heart breaks
Instead of feeling full

Instead of making you whole
You find yourself less
Less than who you really are
As the years pass from one to the next

🕊

ICAOFY

I will remember you
The way I saw you

I will love you
Even though you don’t want it
Always

I gave you me
You looked away
But, I gave nonetheless

This love
This very real feeling
Will never abandon you

I am the one
Who sings a heart’s song
…For you

🕊
ICAOFY

A work in progress. Someday I will finish it….

J’ai traversé un océan pour toi
Parce que tu es toujours dans mon cœur
L’idée de toi…
C’est toujours avec moi
Je sais que je vais vivre toute ma vie

Ne te connaissant jamais

🕊 Dedicated to my angels

Here’s to writing more
   Smiling more
      Dancing and Singing loud
         And, leading a life worth living

Happy New Year to all

Mwah!
💋

Surgery, blackout, fall
In and out of consciousness… alone
I remember the sound of the sirens
Under the fucking knife again

Anesthesia takes me on another journey
One hundred stitches to bring me home
Pneumonia follows me, taunts me
Losing my breath for the wrong reason

Ugly scars
Battle lines across my body
Swollen, bruised, my flesh is hard
I want to break the mirror

Fear tries to conquer me, and almost wins
Angry at these wretched tears
This isn’t a “stage” to get through
This is my life

Do you come here to understand me?
To wrap yourself in my honesty
My truth – is it yours?
My life – will you be a part of it?

Peace. 🕊

Was I waiting for you?
Or was I waiting for me?
When you find me
I find myself
In the moment
I am myself

And, she waits
For just a kiss
But, it eludes, colludes
With time

Months, Years
Embrace her
Days, Hours
Taunt and steal her sweetness
Minutes silently tear apart
a life worth living

A red crown
A white flag
Waving on a hilltop
She gazes at the horizon
For in the wind…
…she finds him

“…With her feet sinking in the sand, she looked at the ocean and wondered if he ever saw his own reflection in her eyes. Did he see what she could see? She wished she could have kissed him on the arch of his eyebrow, because it was his eyes that made her into something more. …She remembered how he told her that he was ‘happy,’ and so she tried to believe that was enough. But, he was on the other side of the horizon, and she missed him. She continued to walk along the ocean’s edge, hoping the water would wash everything away.”

Immersed in an idea
Clarity found in a lyric she didn’t write
Another breath, another rise of her chest
Only she knows why she does this to herself
Fall, walk, run, repeat
Years pass, and still her heart beats a rhythm only she feels

My heart
Where my blood flows heavy and fast
It’s there
That I hold you
It’s that small part of me
That won’t let go

My heart won’t reason with my mind
Is this madness?
Another minute passes
And still I try
To remember
And still I try
To forget
And still
I am here

The years given
To a reckless thought
I wonder
Can you hear me breathe?
As I lay on my pillow
Quietly, talking to a night sky

I am always here
I will always be here

🕊Peace

*Dedicated to my three angels…